Yorkshire

Somewhere to post the 'occasional joke' and an outlet for some of the light-hearted topics we sometimes get on here. Please keep all jokes clean!
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DF
Posts: 205
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2004 9:46 pm

Yorkshire

Post by DF » Tue Sep 28, 2010 5:18 pm

3 men married wives from different countries. The first man married a woman from China. He told her that she was to do their dishes and house cleaning.

It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.




The second man married a woman from Italy. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.

The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.




The third man married a Yorkshire Lass. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

DF
Posts: 205
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2004 9:46 pm

Post by DF » Wed Oct 24, 2012 4:38 pm

Bill and his wife Blanche go to the Yorkshire Show every year,
And every year Bill would say,
" Blanche, I'd like to ride in that there 'elicopter "
Blanche always replied,
" I know Bill, but that 'elicopter ride is twenty quid,
And twenty quid is twenty quid! "
One year Bill and Blanche went to the show, and Bill said,
" Blanche, I'm 75 years old.
If I don't ride that there 'elicopter, I might never get another chance "
To this, Blanche replied,
" Bill that 'elicopter ride is twenty quid, and twenty quid is twenty quid "
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
" I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!
But if you say one word it's twenty quid. "
Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,
But still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said,
" By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't..
I'm impressed! "
Bill replied,
" Well, to tell you t'truth
I almost said summat when Blanche fell out,
But tha' knows,
twenty quid is twenty quid! "

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